Swiss 777-300ER side view illustration by NorebboStock.comOur route from Zürich to Miami today as LX64
My full review of Swiss 777-300ER business class from Zürich to Miami
This was an Aeroplan award redemption for 70,000 points. It’s worth noting that this also included the flight down to Zürich from London in Swiss A320neo business class the same morning. A big fat two-fer if you will.
Arrival at ZRH
I only had 1 hour and 5 minutes to make this connection once I got off the plane from London. I was slightly majorly concerned that it wouldn’t be enough time considering that I still had to go through security and passport control.
I’m sorry, but there’s no time for a gentlemanly ‘welcome to XXX airport’ caption this time. I’m gonna miss my F’n flight!
If you recall from my Air France 777-300ER business class review, I had 1 hour and 15 minutes to get through security and passport control (at CDG) for that one. And I darn near missed the flight.
This is serious, you guys. Very, very serious.
Long story short, it only took me 60 seconds to get through security here at ZRH. Passport control was simply a booth next to the departure gate, and it took all of 30 seconds to get verified. Easy peasy!
Well this is embarrassing. Turns out that international connections at ZRH are really easy, and I’ve made it to my departure gate with 45 minutes to spare. I really need to learn to chill. OK then. Where was I? Oh yeah. “OMG. Welcome to Zürich! I seriously almost died trying to get here! OK not really, but still, I came within minutes of missing my flight! OK yeah, it was 45 minutes, but still!”Not the most flattering picture of a Swiss 777-300ER ever published online, but this was the best I could do with shaky hands (a result of all the adrenaline still running through my veins). Should I have been concerned about all of that obvious patchwork in the side of the fuselage? What the hell happened to this poor thing?!ACP status, baby! (I have no idea what that means, but it made me feel important)
The boarding process
Boarding commenced at 12:22 PM. First class passengers got to go first (they always get to go first). Once they were taken care of, they let us lowly business class peons go next.
Group 2? Nope. Business Senator? Nuh-uh (I think that’s a Lufthansa thing). Star Alliance Gold? Lol, not since 2023. Long story short, I was none of these things but they told me to stand here anyway.It’s true: being able to see the entirety of the Swiss 777-300ER you’re about to board through the windows of the glass jet bridge is a very pleasurable experience.*dorky airline reviewer feeling pleasure*
We boarded through the mid cabin door, which required turning left (instead of right) once onboard. Just like Delta 757-200 first class. Sort of. But not really.
Other than the upcoming tomato soup appetizer (and strawberries for dessert), this is the last of the color red you will see for the entirety of the review. Swiss is proud of their brand colors…but only on the outside.
Business class seat and cabin overview
Business class on the Swiss 777-300ER is broken up into two separate cabins. The forward cabin consists of 10 seats in an alternating 1-2-2 layout. The rear cabin has 57 seats in that same alternating / staggered layout. I had seat 4A for this flight, which was the single seat in the bulkhead row of the forward cabin.
You didn’t think I’d fly all the way to Miami having to sit next to somebody, did you? Throne seat (4A) FTMFW.How scared do you think the seat was knowing that I was thinking pleasurable thoughts as I was looking down at it like this? “You sure are ‘purdy!”Rummaging through the loot. Big blanket, big pillow, and big something (which I think was a mattress pad, but I’m not sure).I’ll tell you what. The stress of worrying about missing this flight (as irrational as it may have been) made this feel so much sweeter than it already was. This is a very nice business class seat.
You know what they say about the video screens in Swiss 777-300ER business class: Actually, I have no idea what they say, but these look decently large and not so glossy.If people said things about the footwell space, I’d imagine it to be something along the lines of “shit man, anyone over 6′-3″ will not find this pleasurable.”The tragedy is that I never found anything to put in this clever pull-out storage bin. I so desperately wanted to put something in here.Under the armrest you will find not only additional seat controls, but the remote control for the in-flight entertainment system as well. For the record, I did not find this on my own (the flight attendant pointed it out to me). It’s not so easy to find! Seat privacy? Sort of. I mean, it’s not as open and exposed as the old Delta 767-300 first / business class. But cocoon-like Korean Air 747-8 business class it is not.
The amenity kit
An amenity kit was at my seat when I boarded the aircraft. It didn’t contain much, but at least had the basics (toothpaste, toothbrush, socks, and earplugs). I always feel guilty throwing away the stuff that I don’t need, so I actually prefer simple amenity kits such as this anyway.
The amenity kit. And for the record, I stand by what I told you about the color red at the boarding door. This is technically ‘plum’. Not red.And I don’t mean this to sound like the airline equivalent of a d*ck measuring contest, but…the amenity kit I got in Virgin Atlantic A350-1000 premium economy a few days prior had more stuff in it. Just sayin’.
The departure from Zürich
They said that we would depart at 1 PM. They missed it by 9 minutes unfortunately, so I am withholding the complementary comment I was going to make about precision Swiss timekeeping. At least it was close.
“Later dude!” (a caption that works well no matter if you assume it was me or him who said it)
It took 17 minutes to taxi out to runway 16. And let me tell you: it was probably one of the most beautiful ‘taxi to the runway’ scenarios I’ve ever been a part of. Have you seen how beautiful Switzerland is lately?
Looks like it’s gonna be runway 16 today (followed by what I hope will be an aggressive ‘grip it and rip it’ departure vector). Those mountains are huge!
We took off at 1:26 PM, which was 16 minutes behind schedule. I bet they just love me for pointing out little tidbits of information like this.
Wait a sec, I’ve seen this before. Who knew that all of the aerial footage of the Tour de France every summer is shot from a Swiss Boeing 777? I certainly didn’t!
The first meal service
Sitting in the very first row of business class has its advantages. I was the very first passenger to partake in the initial cabin service immediately after takeoff.
The MF’n skin-melting scalding hot towel service. BTW, I didn’t mind the heat. It was a good kind of hurt.‘Menu. SWISS Business.’ Not the most creative name for a in-flight menu that I’ve ever seen, but no worries. It’s what’s on the inside that counts. And please disregard the splash of red in the lower right corner that I told you that you weren’t going to see any more of.
By the way, the following pictures of the menu are high resolution. Clicking on any of one of them will open a large larger version for your viewing pleasure.
Drinks and a light snack came first. There were two options for the snack: roasted nuts or cheese cubes. I went with the cheese cubes because, well, cheese cubes.
It’s very rare that I drink, but it’s also very rare that I fly Swiss 777-300ER business class, so I figured it was worth trying the SWISS Alpine Essence signature cocktail. It paired excellently with the cheese cubes (as most drinks do).
Lunch was served immediately after. I quite liked the fact that they served it in courses at a fairly nice pace. I didn’t feel rushed at all.
The appetizer: Lemongrass and ginger prawns with fennel salad, grapefruit, dill cream, and roasted hazelnuts. I could’ve (and would’ve) made an entire meal out of this if they could’ve (and would’ve) let me.Cold tomato soup. Again, not the most creative name I’ve ever heard anyone give to a bowl of tomato soup, but I get it. I wouldn’t know what to name this either.The main course: Veal brasato with jus, Malfatti dumplings of spinach and ricotta, and white asparagus. And a tomato! Poor little guy wasn’t even mentioned on the menu.“WTF is brasato, jus, and malfatti? Other than delicious I mean?
The food was pretty good. For some reason or another I was expecting this to be catered by Do & Co (as I got to experience in Austrian Airlines 777-200 business class once). It was not, but no biggie. The food was well prepared and delicious anyway.
In-flight entertainment
The noise canceling headphones they provide are some of the best noise canceling headphones I’ve ever had the pleasure of listening to on an airplane. I was unable to determine what brand they were, but let me tell ya: they good!
A white cord connected to a black pair of noise canceling headphones? “There better be a really good reason for this OCD-triggering mismatch, bro.”Turns out that maybe the white cord was on purpose. These things sounded good.
The in flight entertainment system was decent. I’d describe the user interface as minimalist, and the catalogue of content as just OK. They did offer Disney+ and Paramount+ though. Can’t beat that.
Here’s the main menu of the in-flight entertainment system (with not one, but two more splashes of red that I claimed wouldn’t exist anywhere in the interior of this aircraft).I kinda like the minimalist design language of the user interface. Simple. Clean. A little bit hard to navigate. But clean. And simple. Little confusing tho.This handy remote control ended up living up to its name quite nicely. Using this instead of leaning forward to interact with the screen was handy indeed.
Testing out the lie flat seat
This is a really comfortable seat for sleeping in IMHO. All the right ingredients for it are included: a very thick blanket, a cushy mattress pad, a fluffy pillow, and a completely lie flat seat with decent(ish) privacy.
The blanket was huge. Thick. Warm. I was unable to determine if it was a he or she however (peeking underneath its tail didn’t reveal anything obvious).Wait a sec. Maybe this is the blanket? It might be a mattress pad. Looks like another nice blanket though. I’m so confused.Screw it. I may have been lying on a blanket with a mattress pad over top of me, but boy was I ever comfortable.
Footwell space was a little tight for me (I’m 5’-10”). But at least the seat was wide enough that I could flop around like a dead fish without feeling as if I had been stuffed into a compact (and smelly) styrofoam cooler.
Business class lavatory
If you’re the kind of person who thinks the toilet should match the seat, you’re gonna love the business class lavatory! OK, yeah, it was a little small. But it did feature many of the same materials and textures of the seat that I was sitting at. I like that kind of attention to detail.
Well, well, well. A toilet strong enough to flush a cinderblock (or one of them Swiss business class mattress / blanket thingies).
The pre-landing meal
I found it interesting that they waited to what seemed like the very last moment to serve the pre-landing meal. They turned the cabin lights on with only 1 hour and 20 minutes of flying time remaining, and then began serving the meal shortly after that. They certainly weren’t in a hurry.
Plum (not red) mood lighting! The international signal for ‘wake up bitches, it’s time to eat.’Chicken salad, eh? Not exactly. The menu claims this to be sweet potato salad with spinach, cottage cheese, and roasted walnuts with a Cajun chicken fillet. I claim this to be delicious. It was good! “Thank you for flying SWISS”, they said. “Well, thank you for the delicious sweet potato salad”, I replied.
For what it’s worth, I enjoyed this meal more than I did the initial meal service just after takeoff. It wasn’t too heavy (nor too light), and the flavors were just about perfect.
The descent and arrival into Miami
Let’s just say that the Weather Gods were in much more of a party mood back in Zürich than they were in Miami. It was pretty gloomy all the way down (and all the way in).
Overcast or not, this was the exact moment when I started bopping my head to that “Miami’ song by Will Smith. Forgive me (not for admitting to liking it, but making you bop your head to it for the rest of the day).Bienvenidos a Miami! Adios a Spirit! (this was only 10 days before they ceased operations)
We touched down on runway 12 37 minutes early at 4:38 PM. From there, it was only an 8 minute taxi over to Concourse J. BTW, these numbers are absolutely worthy of the complementary Swiss timing comment that I withheld earlier in this review. They earned it, so here we go: yay Switzerland!
The hell are all these airlines? Apparently there’s a slew of airlines flying around the Caribbean and Latin America that I’ve never heard of before. I should probably expand my horizons a bit and get to reviewin’ some of these…Aha! I know that one!*Thwack!* Damn near killed myself as the high-tension seatbelt released from its buckle, but it would’ve been worth it. This was pretty good y’all, and I can die happy knowing that Swiss business class has finally been crossed off my to do list.
Pros and cons
Am I glad that they told me to give this a try? You’re darn right I am. It was a great experience overall, and perhaps my only major complaint is how open and exposed I felt sitting in the seat. It’s private, but not that private.
Pros
For a solo traveler, the single seat is a phenomenally good choice.
I like the wood and metal textures. It really helped to make it feel like a high-end experience.
Pretty good food! The highly attentive and friendly service from the cabin crew made it taste even better.
Cons
Yeah, seat privacy (or the lack thereof). The semi-open layout felt slightly dated IMHO.
Those of you who prefer interacting the screen instead of the remote control (for in-flight entertainment) might not like having a lean so far forward to interact with it. It’s pretty far away from the seat.
