I know. Normally I’m the king of organization and I post all my trip reports in the order in which I flew them. However, things were kind of busy last summer and I sort of fell behind on my writing schedule a bit. Ok, I will admit that I was feeling slightly lazy as well, but I was mostly busy. I promise. Anyway, this post represents the Avianca review I should’ve written four months ago.
FYI, I’m going to do things slight differently this time. As an experiment, I’m going to use the script from the video as the base for this written review. Then I’ll mix pictures into it as I normally do. I’m getting the sense that nobody reads the entire article anyway, and it’s the pics (and captions) that tell the story. So…why waste time writing an entire article when I already wrote the script for the video months ago? Slowly but surely, I’m learning to work smarter (not harder)…
Buenos Aires, Argentina (EZE) – Bogota, Colombia (BOG)
Tuesday, June 11, 2019
Duration: 5 hours 46 minutes
Seat: 12D (economy class)
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If you’re a regular consumer of my content, you probably watched this particular Avianca review on my YouTube channel months ago. However, it didn’t get as many views as most of my other videos usually do, so I know there are some of you who are seeing this content for the very first time.
Video reviews are a higher priority for me these days, but even I will admit the time between the publishing of that video and this written review was a bit too long. Shame on me.
The music for this video, of course, came from my good buds over at Epidemic Sound. Do consider subscribing to their service if you need really good music for your own videos!
Arriving at EZE for my first ever Avianca review
I made it to the airport with plenty of time to spare before my 5 and a half hour flight up to Bogota on an Avianca A330, and I was feeling pretty good about it. I was a little sleepy still, but…otherwise good.
The usual pre flight stuff
Terminal A here in Buenos Aries isn’t all that interesting if I’m being honest. It’s certainly nice…but it’s very basic with limited views to the outside. Oh – and to the cashier of the Havana Coffee shop located adjacent to gate 5 who rang up my breakfast that morning: you are the meanest cashier I’ve ever met. Just sayin’.
The old livery on the plane flying me up to Bogota this morning is one of my favorites for sure (and I’m glad it was the one that ended up in this Avianca review), but unfortunately the pic above was the best view of it could get from inside the terminal. Oh well. I was still too flustered about my encounter the meanest cashier lady on planet earth 10 minutes ago to really care.
The boarding process
Just as it was for the boarding process for my Latam flight from Santiago to Buenos Aires two days ago, exactly nobody rushed the gate until it was their turn to do so. It was freaking awesome.
Avianca A330-200 economy class is configured in a typical 2-4-2 layout. I had an aisle seat in the center section for today’s flight up to Bogota, which as you will soon see, was chosen for a *very* specific reason.
Is there not a better feeling in the world than knowing that you’re just minutes away from flying thousands of miles away from the meanest Havana Coffee shop person you’ve ever met? I’ve never been more ready to fly in my life.
You’re probably dying to know why I chose this particular seat. Well, to be honest, at this point, I still wasn’t sure if I made the right choice. Just a few more minutes to go, and I’ll know…
I may not have any wing footage in this Avianca review to show you, but I can promise you that I’m feeling like a king here in seat 12D all by my lonesome self.
What is the breakfast service like in Avianca economy class?
I guess the nice thing about suffering through one traumatic breakfast experience so far this morning meant that I was ready for anything at this point. Clumpy eggs? over cooked potatoes? grumpy flight attendants? bring it.
Should I be worried that I’ve never once heard anyone say amazing things about the food in any other Avianca review I’ve ever seen? Maybe not, considering that I’ve never heard of anyone ending up in the hospital from eating the stuff either.
Despite being one of the blandest looking plate of eggs I’ve ever had the pleasure of sitting in front of, it was surprisingly decent. Although, I’m guessing that the fact that it wasn’t served with a heaping pile of attitude as well had a lot to do with it. If I had to rate this meal, I’d say: 3 and half stars out of 5.
After breakfast (and before settling down to catch on some sleep), I made a quick trip to the loo. One of these days I’m going to experience an economy class lavatory that impresses me. Today wasn’t that day.
However, this particular visit to the loo was kind of neat because we were 7 miles above the Amazon rainforest, and…I used the loo 7 miles above the Amazon rainforest. If anything, I’d like to think that I’m in a relatively smallish group of people who can say that they’ve *actually* done that.
Relaxing (and trying to sleep) in Avianca economy class
There’s a little over an hour to go at this point, and…I’m not exactly sure what I was hoping for by checking my watch every 5 minutes. Other than massive progress of course.
Making time go by even slower was watching our pixel-by-pixel progress on the moving map. Are we there yet?
Final thoughts about my first ever Avianca experience
So that pretty much wraps up my first ever Avianca review! My entire experience was ok I guess, with mediocre food, a decent seat, and most importantly…a cabin crew a million times more friendly than a certain Havana Coffee employee back at EZE.
If I’m being honest, up until this point, the first thing I thought of when hearing someone say “Avianca” was the crash of flight 52 way back in 1990. For some reason or another, that incident really stuck with me and I’ve never been able to shake it.
Thankfully, being able to experience Avianca for myself absolutely helped to reset my thoughts and my mind doesn’t immediately got to such dark places anymore. How so? Well, it’s been four months since this flight, and I hadn’t even thought of that incident until writing about it just now. For a negative Nancy such as myself, that’s huge.
By the way, having an empty seat next to me on this flight made all the difference, and…if you’re curious how I’ve been able to make that happen so many times over the past several years, I recently wrote an entire article about it that I recommend reading. It’s stuffed full of good tips, tips, and techniques that’ll make *any* introverted Flyer weak in the knees with excitement.
Huh…. Aircraft has a USA registration number?…. Courious this is….
I wondered about that as well! Maybe someone who knows more about this can chime in and help us out…
Got it!!!! Compliments of the FAA… Aviaca is leasing the aircraft from Wells Fargo!!!!
Suddenly had a strange vision of a Wells Fargo Commercial of a large team of horses at full gallop…. hauling an A330 across the plains……
Andrew to the rescue!! Haha…thanks for looking into that – I had been thinking that maybe there there was a US company heavily invested in them or something, so I guess I was sort of right.
I wonder how many horses it takes to pull a fully loaded A330-200?
Challenge accepted… MTOW for the A330-200 is 534,000 lbs… A pair of Perchurons (large breed draft horse) can safely pull 24,000… It works out to 24 horses, two lunatics, a case of Wyoming Whisky, and an iron clad insanity plea…. For when we get pulled over.
Now THAT is something I’d love to experience. Then again…maybe not. Hahaha! Sounds like the storyline to an epic Hollywood movie, which (I’m just guessing) might drive a lot of traffic to this website if I can manage to publish a trip report about the experience. Only problem is, where are we gonna get 24 Perchurons? An A330 shouldn’t be a problem, but…two dozen Perchurons??
Amish Country… and thanks for the author tag!!!
Are you sure you took Avianca or was it an American, Delta, or Hawaiian Airlines A330-200 in disguise. That would probably explain the lack of red in the aircraft.
Nope..plane was owned by Wells Fargo…. should of been a whole lot of Red….. maybe a teller window up in first class….. First clue should of been when the plane as backed off the gate via Stage Couch!!!!!
I like the way you think man…you and I really need to start an airline together. Haha!
“I’m getting the sense that nobody reads the entire article anyway…” Not true, good sir. But I’m old school. I’d rather read than watch, so reusing your script is a brilliant move. Also, still glad you are the one eating the food instead of me. And, I’m going to have to hear more about the mean cashier…
Dang it, I was hoping that nobody would say anything about preferring to read instead of watch. Haha! Oh well – using the script from the video definitely makes this a lot easier, so I’ve got no excuse not to continue now.
Anyway, the cashier lady was just straight up mean. I tried ordering my breakfast in broken Spanish, which didn’t work at all (she had no idea what I was trying to say and didn’t make an attempt to help). Then I tried English, and she just rolled her eyes at me (still not understanding what I said). Kind of an awkward situation in a busy cafe with a line of people behind me. lol
So…. Be interested in a Dornier 328Jet without leaving the country? We have a EAS outfit in the area that flies them! I don’t know much about them…. But hey its an excuse to get you into the LEAST populated state in the country…. Um… I can get you into Yellowstone for free?
If it has business class with lie-flat seats, I’m in!