The hotel that made me blush: Moxy, Vienna Airport

The hotel that made me blush: Moxy, Vienna Airport

01. Introduction: “Have you ever been in a Turkish prison?”
02. United Airlines 737-900/ER economy class San Diego to Chicago (ORD)
03. Turkish Airlines 777-300/ER exit row economy class Chicago (ORD) to Istanbul
04. Turkish Airlines A321 exit row economy class Istanbul to Vienna
05. Moxy Hotel, Vienna Airport
06. Figuring out how to use the Vienna CAT train
07. Austrian Business Class Lounge, VIE
08. Austrian Airlines 777-200 business class Vienna to Los Angeles

It appears as if the timing of my announcement that I was giving up hotel reviews a couple months ago was all wrong, and now I’m starting to wonder if it has completely backfired on me. “I’m only going to write about fun and interesting hotels from this point forward” I confidently declared, secretly knowing that my hotel choices have always been (for the most part) stale and the likelihood of having to write consistent hotel reviews ever again was nil.

But the funny thing now is that I’m finding myself seeking out quirky hotels for my trips that I probably would have never considered before, fueled no doubt by my desire to create fun and interesting blog content to compliment my nerdy airline reviews (even though I said that I only wanted to focus on airline reviews – what’s up with that?). Why it never occurred to me to seek out these kinds of properties in the past is beyond me, but it is what it is and that means that I’ve got a doozie here for you today: the Moxy at Vienna Airport.

moxy hotel location map vienna airport
Location map of the Moxy here at the Vienna Airport. Pro tip: get a high room on the south or east side for the best airport views. If you fancy overlooking busy motorways and being frustrated that you can’t see the airport, the north side is for you.

Fun fact: I had never even heard of the Moxy brand before booking this reservation, and the only reason why I chose this property was because of how fun it looked from the outside. As luck would have it, it was a fantastically good choice in an amazingly good location. Score one for SANspotter!

For those of you out there like me who have absolutely no idea what a “Moxy” hotel is, it’s basically the Marriott equivalent of an Aloft. And for those that don’t even know what an Aloft is, it’s basically the IKEA equivalent of the hotel world. Think “cheap” and “high style”, and you’ve pretty much got it. I’ve reviewed a few Aloft’s already (in Phoenix, Portland, and San Francisco), and it’s a brand that I quite like.

So – I’ll bet you’re wondering: how does Moxy compare? Well, you’re in exactly the right place to be asking such an astute question, so get settled in and cozy because I’ve got a ton of pics to help explain what this place is all about:

Finding Moxy hotel Vienna Airport
Finding the Moxy here at VIE is super easy (even if you’re borderline delirious from flying halfway around the world in economy class). Just follow the signs through the underground walkway!
Walking to the Moxy hotel Vienna Airport
“Keep your distance Chewie – but don’t look like you’re trying to keep your distance.” Yeah, I was delirious enough to want to hang out here for a bit and pretend I was right there in the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon with Han Solo and Chewbacca, but I had a hotel to find.
Moxy hotel Vienna airport
Yet more fun stimulation for deliriously tired eyes. That’s the Moxy!
Moxy Hotel main entrance Vienna airport
Any establishment with “Let’s go for a spin” printed on the revolving door is my kind of establishment. When’s the last time you saw anyone having this kind of fun at a Hyatt?
Moxy hotel VIE Bar and check in desk
When the check-in desk is just a small corner of the massively well-stocked bar, you just know you’re gonna have a good time.

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Moxy Hotel Vienna airport lobby
The lobby was really stunning actually, and you can tell that they designed it to stimulate social interaction. It’s like they’re thinking that we’re all being hermits refusing to come out of our rooms or something…
Moxy hotel socializing
Nobody wanted to be social with me today.
Moxy hotel elevators
The kinkiest elevator ride of my life, and it had me wondering if there was going to be a wild party happening in my room when I got there…
Moxy hotel Vienna Airport hallways
I don’t hear any music yet.
Room 547 Moxy hotel Vienna Airport
Are they all going to jump out at me and yell “Überraschung!” when I walk in?
Moxy hotel room review
When you’re expecting happy partygoers to greet you, nothing is more disappointing than seeing an empty (and quiet) hotel room. Really? Nothing?
Moxy hotel room review Vienna Airport
I turned to the left to set my backpack down, and then…she just jumped out at me out of nowhere!
Moxy hotel room design
Keeping a close eye on her as I step into the room in order to make sure that she doesn’t sneak up from behind me and give me a noogie. Or even worse…a wedgie.
SANspotter selfie Moxy hotel
And then, entering the bathroom, THIS happened.
Moxy hotel reviewer
Blushing a shade of red I’ve never been in my life, I continued on with the review.
Moxy hotel lollipops
Based on what you’ve seen so far, you can’t roll your eyes at me (too much) if I told you that I thought these complimentary lollipops on the bed were condoms at first. Hey now! The thought never even would have crossed my mind if it weren’t for that lipstick message on the bathroom mirror.
Moxy hotel tv
Do I dare turn on the TV to see what’s on?
Moxy hotel style and design
Jokes aside, the style and design of this room was on point.
Moxy hotel piñata
What the…?
Moxy piñata
Oohhhhh, I get it! It all makes sense now! The “piñata” and “get smashed” messages were in reference to this little guy, and the candy on the bed was meant to go inside. Clever! This is the part of the review when I stopped blushing btw.
Moxy hotel fun vibe
I say again: when’s the last time you had this much fun in a Hyatt?
Moxy hotel room full review
The only spot in the room where she couldn’t see me.
Moxy hotel bathroom
Ok, let’s see if I can do the bathroom portion of this review without any stupid comments about the lipstick on the mirror.
Moxy hotel bathroom review
Unfortunately, it was so small that I couldn’t find an angle where she OR the lipstick wasn’t in view.
Moxy hotel small bathroom
Yeah, the bathroom is small but really nice and very practical. And nope, you can’t even see a reflection of the lipstick in the chrome on the faucet. #madphotoskillz
Moxy hotel shampoo and body wash
Are you as disappointed as I am that the body wash and shampoo didn’t have glitter in it?
View from room Moxy hotel Vienna Airport
The view from my room, which was pretty nice. This entire area looks brand new, with the airport off in the distance to the left.
Moxy hotel food for purchase
One of the best things about the Moxy is the amount of good alcohol food for purchase down in the lobby.
Moxy hotel microwave
They even offer this handy “cooking” station so that you can heat up (and spice up) whatever it was that you just purchased. I’m actually surprised that they gave me full access to the microwave considering that I could burn a pot of boiling water if left unattended. I’m horrible in the kitchen.
Moxy hotel dinner
Dinner. And they didn’t even have to call the fire department!

Final thoughts

I’ve got a lot to say in regards to what I think of the Moxy brand, but I know that I need to be careful because this was the first Moxy hotel that I’ve ever stayed at, and therefore I have no confidence that every property is exactly the same.

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I’d like to think that this is a “franchise” kind of brand much in the way that Aloft is (meaning that you get the exact same experience in every location) especially considering that they seemed to be pushing brand awareness on social media everywhere you look with the hashtag #atthemoxy. There’s nothing wrong with consistency at all, and as a matter of fact I guess what I’m trying to say here is that I hope that it is a consistent experience from property to property.

In terms of what I liked and didn’t like about this experience, let’s start out with the positives:

  • Price: This was one of my cheapest hotel hotel stays in many many years. I paid $80US a night for two nights here (thanks to my go-to hotel booking site), which I’m still quite proud of thank you very much.
  • Style and design: If you hate the IKEA, you’re not gonna like this place. But I happen to dig it quite a bit (and not because I have an IKEA couch at home).
  • Edginess: I’ll admit – it was incredibly fun to stay in a property that was borderline kinky and not afraid to show it. Being safe and overly worried about offending anyone makes for forgettable experiences! *cough*hilton*cough*hyatt*coughcough*
  • Proximity to the airport: it’s hard to beat a hotel that is literally just a two minute (underground) walk to and from the main terminal.

The thing I didn’t like:

  • The “party” vibe: I already explained to you how much of an old fart I am in my W Austin review 8 weeks ago, so there’s no need to embarrass myself and go down that dark and gloomy road again. Thankfully my room was quiet as a library, so overall the liveliness wasn’t a big deal at all.

The big take away from all this is the fact that I am now seeking out Moxy hotels wherever I go. Unfortunately, I haven’t booked any trips yet where at Moxy hotels happen to be present, but their list of properties is growing fast and it won’t be long until I step foot in one of these places again. And you bet you’re booty that I’m going to do another full review!

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