The nerdiest review of the Hilton Garden Inn Phoenix Airport you’ll ever read

01. Introduction: I flew to San Francisco so that I could drive a fun car in Arizona
02. Virgin America A319 first class San Diego to San Francisco
03. American Airlines A321 first class San Francisco to Phoenix
04. Westin Downtown Phoenix
05. 3 awesome reasons why February is the best time to road trip through Arizona
06. Hilton Garden Inn Phoenix Airport
07. American Airlines 757-200 first class Phoenix to San Diego

I think I finally did it. After years and years of travel blogging, I am pretty sure that I understand what it is that separates a pro (nerdy) travel blogger from a wishy-washy wannabe: blind dedication. That’s right ladies and gents – anybody who feels compelled enough to write a full review on a soulless Hilton Garden Inn Airport Hotel is as nerdy as it gets and totally deserves the “pro travel blogger” title.

I’m going to be honest right from the get-go and let you know that I didn’t enjoy my stay at this hotel very much. This property was about as generic and cookie-cutter as an airport hotel can be, but it never once occurred to me that I was going to skip the review altogether so that I could focus my strength on other things (like being lazy and getting sucked down the vortex that is YouTube for three hours straight). This Hilton Garden Inn was a core part of this itinerary, so there was no chance of me skipping over it – even though I was looking forward to writing it as much as I look forward to cleaning the poo out of my cat’s litter box.

Wishy-washy wannabe travel bloggers wouldn’t have the strength to even attempt madness such as this, so here we go with a super nerdy review of a generic Hilton Garden Inn Airport Hotel!

Hilton Garden Inn PHX location map

Did you know that there are two other Hilton Garden Inn’s in close proximity to PHX? I didn’t, which made getting here…interesting. The property I’m reviewing is the one at 3422 E Elwood (At University).

As I mentioned in my review about the Westin in downtown Phoenix, I realized I messed up by not booking two nights there. It was really nice and I enjoyed my stay there immensely. However, I wanted to stay a little bit closer to the airport on my second night due to the fact that I had an early flight out the next morning and I didn’t want to deal with any traffic problems in the city. It was a lame excuse, and I knew it because the city of Phoenix isn’t that large and traffic is nonexistent at 6 AM on Sunday mornings.

It turns out that I had plenty of time to think about how I’m always making excuses as I was standing curbside at PHX waiting for the shuttle bus. It was after I saw the second Hilton Garden Inn shuttle bus blast right by me without stopping that I had to whip out my phone and give them a call to see what was up. What was up was the fact that there are actually several Hilton Garden Inn‘s located near the airport, and each one of them will only stop if they know that they have a customer waiting. In other words, I would’ve stood there all night if I didn’t call and ask to be picked up. I wish I would’ve known that 30 minutes earlier…

Another shuttle bus eventually came by to scoop me up, and I was definitely cursing to myself as we arrived at the entrance to the hotel – just by the looks of it, I could tell immediately that this was a giant step down from the Westin and that this wasn’t going to be anywhere near as nice. Of course I didn’t expect it to be anywhere near as nice, but I wasn’t expecting it to look like a roadside motel complete with that all-too-familiar deep stench of chlorine coming from the indoor pool down the hall.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport

The fact that I completely forgot to take an exterior picture of the outside of this hotel tells you everything you need to know about the disappointment I was feeling as I was walking through this main entrance.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport main lobby

Can you smell the chlorine from the indoor pool just down the hall? Perhaps if I tipped the shuttle bus driver generously enough he would haven me over to the Westin instead. Damn! Why is it that I always think of great ideas like that after it’s too late?

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport elevator

It’s too late now. I’ve already got the room key, so I guess I’m staying here tonight.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport hotel hallway

I think I’m running out of things to say about these hallway pics. I’ll need to think of something clever before my next hotel review…

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport room 330

Now that you know that I stayed in room 330 (on the third floor) this evening, you’ll see the humor in the elevator pic I just posted where I’m pressing the button for floor number one. That’s right, it was a staged pic that I messed up badly (and I didn’t realize it until just now). I’m horrible under pressure!

Hilton Garden inn suite

That’s an odd place for a TV, but so far this doesn’t look so bad.

 Hilton garden inn Suite

As you can see, I booked a suite for the evening which was only a few dollars more than the standard room. I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I do know a good value when I see one!

Hilton Garden Inn Phoenix airport

Ok, well, this may not be as fancy as the Westin, but there’s just something about a suite (which I have all to myself) that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport room

Feeling good only lasted for about 30 seconds or so, once I realized that this suite reminded me a lot of my old college apartment. That caused me to remember how old I am, and it all went downhill from there.

SANspotter selfie Hilton Garden Inn

Boooo!

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport kitchen

Hilton could have totally redeemed themselves if this kitchen had any food stocked in it. Unfortunately, it was as barren as the Sahara desert.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport room

I’ll get to the pics of the bedroom in a moment, but first let me zoom out a little bit and show you the entire living room and kitchen. This is totally my old college apartment!

Hilton garden inn airport living room and kitchen

The only thing missing from my college days are empty cans of Dinty Moore soup everywhere and my crazy (but awesome) roommate Tyler. I’m so glad I’m not in college anymore, but man those days were fun!

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport bedroom

On to the bedroom now! That’s the bed (like, duh).

Hilton Garden Inn bedroom

Nope, glass bedroom doors which allows the people in the kitchen to watch you sleep isn’t creepy at all.

Hilton Garden Inn bedroom and bathroom

At least the bathroom door is solid. If you need to do private things, go in there and have at it feeling confident that nobody can see what you’re doing.

Hilton garden inn wide angle pic

One last wide angle pic of the bedroom before we move on to the bathroom.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport closet

Wait a sec. True (nerdy) travel bloggers would never skip over a picture of the closet. Here’s the left side.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport closet space

And just to prove to you how nerdy I really am, here’s a picture of the right side.

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport toilet

Don’t worry, I can’t wait until my next airline review either. Here’s the toilet!

Hilton Garden Inn Phoenix airport bathroom sink

The sink. Hang on, we’re almost done here, and soon I’ll be posting the American Airlines 757 first class review. I can’t imagine that very many of you have read this far anyway…

Hilton Garden in Phoenix airport bathroom

Hello? Is anybody still reading this? I’m done being nerdy anyway (for now) so I think I’m going to end it here.

In order not to sound too much like a Negative Nancy, I will say that the fact that this was a suite was a huge plus. There’s just something really nice about staying in a hotel room that feels more like an apartment that I like a lot, which really helped me to enjoy the evening and relax a little bit after a long day of driving. I will admit though that I did have a little bit of Debbie Downer in me that evening, but I definitely wasn’t feeling like a total Negative Nancy. There’s a big difference between the two.

If I could sum up this one night stay in one word, it would have to be Dissapointment (with a capital D, which stands for “Darn it I should have stayed at the Westin again”). However, there was honestly nothing wrong with this suite, and the fault of my disappointment was completely on me. I was simply expecting too much, and unfortunately this property wasn’t quite on that level. It’s been along time since I’ve stayed at a Hilton Garden Inn, and I guess I’ve simply forgot what these properties are like. Lesson learned!

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